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Oct. 14th, 2007 @ 11:09 pm Best of You
Current Location: The Seventh Circle
Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: Best of You by the Foo Fighters
Title: Best of You
Rating: R for language, drug use, and suggested sex
Pairing: Connor/Murphy McManus
A/N: I do not own The Boondock Saints and its affiliated characters, and Best of You is a song by Foo Fighters.

I've got another confession to make

Connor kissed his twin brother's lips softly and then stared at him to see a reaction. There was none at first, but then Murphy smiled and pulled his brother closer to him to return the kiss.

I'm your fool...

Everyone's got their chains to break
Holding you...

They sighed contentedly as they lost themselves in each other's eyes, wrapped in each other's arms. For the first time since their father died, they felt sure and complete. There was no more fear, no more pain, just the present feel of the comfort of knowing someone was there. Connor couldn't have felt better, but Murphy could.

Were you born to resist, or be abused?

After their first kiss, Connor noticed immediate changes in his brother. First, he was out later at night, and sometimes would come back at four in the morning drunk or he would have to go pick him up from a bar. This didn't fit into their "saint" schedule.

Is someone getting
the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting
the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and on to someone new?

"Murphy!" Connor hollered. His twin fell onto the bed and groaned.

"Too loud, more quiet."

Connor slapped him in the mouth and grabbed him by the shoulders. "What the fucking 'ell were you doin' out there, huh? You could have gotten yerself killed!"

Murphy pushed his brother off him and yelled, "Back the fuck off me, alright? I don't need you to tell me what I'm doin'"

I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose..

Murphy stumbled back out of the apartment and Connor considered going after him. No, best to let him blow his steam off and deal with his hangover.

You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use...

When Murphy returned, he collapsed into his brother's arms. He was bleeding and bruised and his whole body ached. Someone had jumped him in the alley and with the hangover, he was left defenseless. Connor held his brother as he cleaned him and shushed him, singing to him softly while Murphy cried silently.

"I need you Connor, I really do."

"I know."

"I can't live without you...I love you too much."

"I love you to Murph."

He kissed his brother softly and was surprised to feel the kiss returned.

"All I've ever wanted Connor, was just to be with you..." Murphy whispered ad he sat up and pushed his brother back on to the bed.

I was too weak to give in, too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose

Connor couldn't have been happier when he heard his brother say those words and pulled him into a deep kiss, penetrating his lips and holding onto him tightly, as if afraid he'd float away if he let go.

I swear I'll never give in
and I refuse.

Murphy vowed from that moment, to himself and Connor, and the good lord who they both knew would disapprove, that he would never let something come between him and his brother.

Is someone getting
the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting
the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Murphy's drinking problem subsided, but he was still coming home at night, just, not as late, so Connor was fine with it. He seemed happy and alive whenever he came home, so he didn't question his motives. There was nothing to question, as there was no proof that something was going on, but Connor was still curious.

Has someone taken your faith - it's real
The pain you feel
Your trust - you must confess

One day, Murphy didn't come home until the next day and Connor was in meltdown mode.

"Where the fuck 'ave ya been, 'tard ass?" He screamed as soon as his disheveled brother walked in.

"Shut the fuck up alright? I'm a grown ass man, and you're not me motha!" He stormed right back out and Connor fought back tears as he paced the floor, trying to decide what to do. Finally, he grabbed his coat and keys and headed out after Murphy. As he ran, a terrifying thought planted itself in his skull. Oh God, Murph, is there someone else? Is someone getting the best of you and leaving me the worst?

Is someone getting
the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting
the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

(ohhhhhhhh oh oh... Ohhhhh oh oh!
ohhhhhhhh oh oh... OHHHHHHH!!!)

Connor ran down the street, asking random people if they saw a man who looked kind of like him running their way. They pointed and he nodded his thanks as he ran, thinking, Oh God, oh God, please be alright, Murphy, for fuck's sake, please be okay!

Has someone taken you faith - it's real!
The pain you feel!
The Life! The Love! You die to heal
The hope, that stops, the broken hearts!
Your trust, you must confess!

He found his brother lying on the ground in an alley with a white powdery substance underneath his nose. Oh please God, not this!


Heroin. His brother was shooting up heroin. But where was he getting the money? He looked at his unconscious brother and tried to think. The only way he could be getting extra money was...

"Oh God Murphy, no!" He wiped away the crusty, white remains of semen that he hadn't noticed before and silently cried. He picked up his brother in both arms and cried out, "Why? What was I doing wrong?"

Running into the streets with his limp brother in arms, he cried, "Someone help me! Someone help my brother! Someone, anyone, help us!"

Is someone getting
the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting
the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Sitting by his hospital bed, Connor held Murphy's hand and waited for him to wake up. They tried to make him wait outside, but he stubbornly remained attached to his brother's side. The doctors said that he would live, and if he had shot up anymore than he already had, he would have died for sure. A wave of relief crashed over him as Murphy opened his eyes groggily.

Connor?" Murphy whispered.

"I'm right here brother, I'm right here."

"Oh God Connor, my head hurts."

Connor kissed his twin's forehead and whispered, "Why Murph, what was so bad that you would turn to drugs and prostitution?"

Murphy stared at him blankly and then remembered what happened.

I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of startin' again
somewhere new
Wouldn't wanna resist, or be abused...
I swear I'll never give in
and I refuse...

"I'm so sorry Connor!" He cried. "I just couldn't take da's death an all and then what I felt for you, and how you felt for me...I mean, we're both men! And yer my brother 'n' all, I mean...fuck, I don't know what to say! I was confused and I didn't want anything to be weird between us if we ever stopped feeling, you know, how we feel for each other, an' an'..." his voice trailed off as he broke down in sobs, his whole body shaking the bed. Connor held him tight to his chest and cried along with him.

"I'll never stop loving you Murph, never. I promise. Just, never let someone get the best of you ever again, okay?"
About this Entry
connor mcmanus
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Date:June 23rd, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
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Awwww brotherly love, beautiful!!
Xx <3
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Date:June 23rd, 2008 09:25 pm (UTC)
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:D Thanks! I thought no one would ever read it...x[