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Mar. 13th, 2006 @ 02:33 pm Home 40/40
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: "Power Play" - Lost Boys soundtrack

author: zebraljb
rating: nc17 overall, this chapter R for language
disclaimer: I know nothing of Duffy and do not have his permission to use his characters in my fictional story

note #1: Yes, you read it right. This is the last chapter. I cannot believe this story went on this long. I never expected it to, though in other fandoms I've written many stories this long. I want to thank all of you who have supported me and kept it going...I was so afraid that everyone would hate me for taking it so AU.

note #2: So many many many of you have read this for me, given suggestions, and even listened to me babble about it on the phone. I know this will sound like an Oscar acceptance speech, and I know I'll forget some people. But I must at least thank athousanderrors, for the banner, and people like writing_light, cherryscott, lil_reedy, lionnessfreedom, lostjane, elaur and nicholle021680 for just listening to me and reading chapters for me. A special thanks to musiquephan, who isn't even a member of this fandom, yet betaed early chapters for me. XOXOXOXO to you all!

“It’s probably good that I’m quittin’,” Murphy said, banging his head on the wall of their dorm building. “I’m not ready ta be a scholar, I don’t think. These finals are gonna fuckin’ drain my brain.”

“You’re not quittin’,” Connor corrected, giving Murphy’s shoulder a quick squeeze. It was the most affection he felt comfortable giving outside of their dorm rooms. It was becoming quite obvious that they were more than friends; they were always together, bound at the hip. They were not overtly romantic with one another, however, except in front of their close friends. No need to create any more drama. They had more than enough of that privately. “Ya just need ta think it over. I’ll convince ya ta come back in tha fall.”

“You think pretty highly of your negotiatin’ skills, m’thinkin’,” Murphy said with a grin.

“Let’s just say I know what it takes ta make ya do what I say,” Connor said very quietly, even though no one was around them.

“Fuck, ya know what it does ta me when ya talk like that,” Murphy moaned softly, hitting his head on the bricks once more.

“Exactly.” Connor grinned and backed away as Steve, Will and Jacob came strolling towards the dorm.

“Evil fucker,” Murphy scowled, walking away, kicking at a stone.

“What’s his problem?” Jacob asked Connor.

“No clue,” Connor said, his face a mask of innocence.

“Tha hell, ya piece of shite!” Murphy yelled back. Connor laughed, as did Jacob and Will, even though they had no clue what the joke was.

“Hey, Connor!” Someone called from a few yards away.

Connor turned around. “Hey, Joey!” He turned to his dormmates. “I’ll be right back.” He strode over to where Joey and Alan were walking.

Murphy came over to his friends, finishing his cigarette and carefully stomping it out before tossing it in a nearby trashcan. “I’m fuckin’ starvin’. All this studyin’ is sappin’ all my energy.”

“No, you’re just a hog,” Steve said, and Murphy pretended to hit him.

“I think I need something other than pizza,” Will griped. “I think I’ll scream if I see one more slice.”

“C’mon, Will. Pizza’s the dinner of mental champions,” Jacob said.

“No, it’s just cheap and fast and doesn’t require us actually leaving our fucking desks,” Will retorted. “How about burgers? We’ll splurge…actually go get WAITED on.”

“That diner in town has great sandwiches,” Murphy volunteered. “Connor an’ I go there all that time.”
“Aw, is that where you have your little romantic interludes?” Jacob teased.

“Would you like me ta tell ya all about our little romantic interludes?” Murphy asked, smiling sweetly.
“NO!” Jacob and Will answered together.

Murphy looked at Steve, who was studying him carefully. He knew that Steve still wasn’t quite comfortable around Connor. Murphy desperately wished that he could tell his best friend the truth, tell him that there was nothing to worry about. He wanted to explain that he and Connor were connected in a way that could never be broken, and that there would be no more heartache in the future. He couldn’t say all this, of course, but still tried, as discreetly as possible, to bring up all of Connor’s positive points and show how good a person he could be. “I agree with the burger idea. What do ya think, Steve?”

“I think you should come with us,” Steve blurted.

Murphy stared at him, as did Jacob and Will. “Come where?”

“Into the city. Those few nights after finals.”

Murphy continued to stare, though his mouth slowly turned up into a broad grin. “Are ya serious?”

Before he and Connor had reconnected, the four of them had been talking about going into Boston for a night or two, to celebrate the end of their freshman year. Nothing had been said about inviting Connor, and Murphy wasn’t even sure that Steve wanted HIM along.

“Yes, I’m serious. This is insane. You love him, he loves you. I don’t quite get it, but hey, I don’t see me in any sort of relationship that gives me the right to judge,” Steve said. “We’ll just get two rooms, because God knows I don’t want to be anywhere near the two of you at night.”

“We don’t have ta stay together,” Murphy said quickly. He really didn’t care. He had the rest of his life to sleep next to Connor. “We can split up, maybe me an’ you an Will, an’ Connor can share with Jacob or somethin’.”

“That’s crazy,” Steve replied, Will and Jacob nodding with him. “The three of us can share, and then you and Connor have your own room.”

Murphy opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Connor’s return. “Sorry about that…they have early finals an’ I probably won’t see them again before end of term.” Connor looked at Murphy. “Are we goin’ ta eat now?”

“What would you think about spendin’ a day or two in tha city with these guys before we get on tha plane?”

Connor blinked. Murphy had mentioned in passing that the others were considering something like this, but hadn’t said anything about going along. Connor could tell, though, that Murphy desperately wanted to be included. “Sure, you should do that. It’d be fun for ya. We could hook up…”

“No, Connor, all of us. All five,” Steve interrupted.

Connor looked at Murphy, whose face was one bright smile. “Sure, of course. Thanks for invitin’ me.”
“Can we PLEASE eat now?” Murphy whined as his stomach growled. “We can discuss all this while shoving burgers inta our mouths.”

“Aye, ya big baby, let’s go,” Connor said. He bumped his hip against Murphy’s as they started to walk. It was a seemingly innocent movement, but said volumes to Murphy.

The last few weeks of classes flew by, and suddenly it was finals week. Contrary to his dramatic self-abuse outside the dorm, Murphy did well on his tests and knew it. He realized he’d never be the intellectual Connor was, though, never be into studying and reading like Connor. He was action, not thought, and wondered maybe if it wasn’t better off that way.

He and Connor put most of their things into storage, planning on getting some sort of housing off campus the next semester. Smecker had promised to find them something, though he also threatened to move in with them as well, to keep them chaperoned. Connor, who was learning to like Smecker as much as Murphy did, quickly pointed out that Smecker was no kind of chaperone, and earned himself a slap to the back of the head from his “Dorm Daddy.”

Jacob had one of the last finals, and after he blew into the dorm, screaming with relief, they called a few cabs, piled their bags into the trunk, and headed for the bus terminal. They took a bus into the city, heading for the rooms that Connor had insisted on paying for. “That’s why I keep him around,” Murphy told the others. “He’s like one of those sugar daddies.”

“Keep it up, Murph, an’ you’ll be out on your arse, whorin’ for change,” Connor had growled.

“Ah, Pretty, ya know ya couldn’t bear ta live without me,” Murphy retorted sweetly, pinching Connor’s cheek.

Now it was the day before they were due to leave for Ireland, and Murphy was alone in the tiny coffee shop of the hotel, smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee. They had spent the first night gallivanting around Boston and generally assing off. The day before had been full of things like a Red Sox game and a movie. This day was for anything they wanted, and Murphy and Connor planned on getting away from the others, for at least a few hours. Boston was where they had really gotten together, and though neither of them would admit it out loud, they both were feeling a little sentimental about it.

“Hey. You’re up early.” Steve sat down across from him and turned the coffee cup up on its saucer. A waitress appeared immediately and poured his coffee. “Pancakes and bacon,” he told her. She nodded and went away. “Thought from the noise of the headboard hitting the wall, you’d be up all night.”

“You’re full of shite,” Murphy snapped. “We weren’t doin’ anythin’ that noisy.”

Steve snickered. “You’re blushing.”

“Besides, those headboards are attached ta tha wall. They don’t move,” Murphy mumbled, and Steve laughed out loud.

“So…everything okay?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, fine.” Murphy couldn’t say that he was nervous as hell about going with Connor to Ireland. He couldn’t say that he was about to meet the mother he never knew, and that it scared the living shit out of him. “Just excited about goin’ ta Ireland,” he said truthfully. “Never been. Connor’s been goin’ on an’ on about all he wants ta show ta me.”

“Sounds exciting,” Steve agreed. “He’s okay, Murph,” he said suddenly. “He really seems to love you, and that’s all that matters. Never thought I’d say this about two guys…but what you have, I’m jealous of it. You two are really…”

“Connected?” Murphy replied with a wry grin. “There’s a lot ya don’t know about us, Steve, an’ trust me, ya don’t want ta know. You’ll find yer Connor someday.”

“I don’t WANT a Connor,” Steve said, shuddering.

“An’ why not?” Connor said from behind him, only catching the last sentence of the conversation. He flicked Steve on the back of the head before sitting next to Murphy. “Missed you.” Connor glanced around the empty restaurant before giving Murphy a brief peck on the lips.

“I think you should leave an’ come back in again,” Murphy said almost dreamily. “I like hellos like that.”

“You are gonna make me vomit and I haven’t even eaten yet,” Steve moaned. Murphy laughed.

“Just kiddin’, Steve. Conn, Steve was sayin’ how jealous he is of our perfect relationship.”

“I did NOT say that!”

“An’ I said he’d find his Connor someday, and he said he didn’t want one,” Murphy continued.

“I meant I don’t want a GUY. Christ, you’re an asshole, Murphy,” Steve grumbled.

Connor laughed. “Don’t worry, Steve. Our Murph’s just been takin’ lessons in arsehole from Smecker.”

“And he’s getting good,” Steve replied.

Connor pulled away from Murphy as the waitress approached, though he kept his leg against Murphy’s throughout the rest of their breakfast.

“You two have a really safe trip,” Will said as they stood outside Connor and Murphy’s gate at the airport. He was flying home as well, so they had waited together after arriving at the airport. “Bring us something from Ireland, like real Irish ale.”

“We’ll see what we can do,” Murphy said, chuckling. They chatted a bit longer before Will headed away in search of his own gate.

They headed for one of the tiny shops to buy food for the flight, as well as magazines and a few other things. Connor stared at the condoms behind the counter, realizing that where they were going, they wouldn’t be using anything like that, ever. “May I help you?” The clerk asked.

“Uh, no thanks,” Connor said, backing away.

“You okay, Conn?” Murphy’s blue eyes were full of concern. “Ya just went white…I didn’t know ya could get that pale.”

“I, uh, just realized somethin’, that’s all,” Connor said quietly. “We…once we’re off that plane, we have ta be totally different people.”

“I thought ya were okay with this, Connor,” Murphy said. “It’s a little late for second thoughts.”

“M’not havin’ second thoughts,” Connor promised. “Just hit me, that’s all. I guess…I guess I was spoiled, gettin’ ta be how I wanted around ya here. We can’t do that in Ireland, not even in private.”

“Are ya tellin’ me ya don’t know any dark corners an’ secluded spots where I might get a kiss or two?” Murphy teased, trying to cheer Connor up. “If ya can’t think o’ even ONE place, well, then, I’m thinkin’ yer not my real brother. MY brother would know how ta be sneaky.”

“I know a place or two,” Connor retorted. He stomped on Murphy’s foot when he saw Murphy’s smile. “You’re an arse.”

“But ya love me.” Murphy headed back to the counter to pay for his things.

“Aye, I sure as fuck do,” Connor whispered to himself.

They boarded the plane, and were mercifully placed in one of the window rows in the front, which meant there were only two seats side by side, not three. They fought over the window seat, until Connor tumbled Murphy into the seat on the aisle, whispering dirty words in Murphy’s ear until he blushed red. Everyone around them smiled in understanding as Connor said, “He’s me brother. It’s me job ta rough him up a bit, ya know.”

Once the plane was in the air, Connor settled down, head against a pillow he had propped against the window. He was snuggled under a blanket, fast asleep, his fingers twined with Murphy’s under the scratchy wool. Murphy looked at the magazine in his lap, though he didn’t see a word of it. He was going home, though the only home he’d ever need was right next to him, snoring away under a well-worn green airline blanket.


About this Entry
Sad Orli
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Date:December 28th, 2006 07:48 pm (UTC)
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Aw, sweet. So glad to see a happy ending. Haha, when you had the part about Steve's jealousy, I was thinking, what about Connor's friend from Ireland? Heh. I really enjoyed this story =).
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Date:January 29th, 2007 05:15 am (UTC)
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So, I just discovered this community and I ate through this in one night and bawled like a baby. Not to mention needed alot of cold water to drink, haha.

SOOOOO beautiful and angsty and wonderful. I loved every minute of it. THANK YOU! *hugs hard*
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Date:January 29th, 2007 01:07 pm (UTC)
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I'm sorry I'm just getting to your feedback now; crazy weekend.

It's so nice to get feedback on something almost a year after finishing it, especially on THIS story. I'm so proud of it. I was really afraid people would hate it, since it's so far out of canon, but everyone has raved about it, and it just thrills me to pieces.

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Date:February 18th, 2007 11:07 am (UTC)
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great ending!
and i love the fact that you didnt go on and on about them being brothers and CANT be together..
They saw the problem, tried to fight it and gave up, no useless hick hack.

Well done!

U have every reason to be proud of this story!

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Date:June 20th, 2007 12:15 am (UTC)
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I just started this story this morning && am now finished. This is the best story I've read in almost every one of my fandoms. Really. You did such a wonderful job! I'm in love with this story. Absolutely brilliant. I wish I could go on and on and on with the praise, but I'm afraid I would bore you && eventually run out of things to write about.

This is absolutely bloody brilliant! (Like I said, haha.)

Thanks again for writing this, love. You've made my life complete. I can die in peace now.

Hope you get this! It's been over a year since the first installment!

Keep up the fantastic work!
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Date:June 20th, 2007 10:31 pm (UTC)
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Wow. This is such nice feedback to get. It's been that long? Holy crap!

I am intensely proud of this story. I've written about 200 stories in the *NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Lord of the Rings, Phantom of the Opera, Flandus and BDS fandoms, and this is probably the one I'm most proud of. I LOVE getting feedback on it.

And your feedback made me dig out my disk and read it again today. :)

Thanks again.
Date:July 31st, 2009 12:50 am (UTC)


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I actually have no idea if you'll ever see this message since it's 2009 now, lmao. But I know from your comments that you enjoy belated praise, and after reading this story (the entire thing in one day, I might add) I feel like I owe it to you.
This fic is fantastic.
Don't ever stop writing.

= ]
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Date:July 31st, 2009 01:45 am (UTC)

Re: Hmm.

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I don't know who you are, but thank you so much! I DO love any sort of feedback, and getting this now, almost 3.5 years later, makes me want to dig it out and reread it again. *hugs*
Date:August 1st, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)

Re: Hmm.

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No, lol. The thanks are to you.

I'm pretty new to the world of fan fiction, so I've yet to produce anything of my own. Stories like this are quite inspiring, though. = ]
Date:August 2nd, 2009 04:22 pm (UTC)
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wow. this was a superbly executed story! i stayed up all night to read the whole thing cuz i couldnt stop! i fully intend on reading the rest of your BDS slash after i catch a few hours horizontal, lol. keep up the awesome writing man!
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Date:January 3rd, 2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
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Even later belated praise, I'm afraid, but I rewatched the film a few days ago, and I'm slowly working my way through the comm (and all your fics, lol). :) And, wow, am I finding some gems! I just had to comment on this because I finished it today, after starting it yesterday, and I think it's one of my favourite fics! Everything was just fantastic. Even the filler (and other) chapters that you weren't overly happy with, I thought they all did their bit to carry the story along wonderfull. And I loved it. :) Lol, basically that's it, just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading it. So thank you. :D
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Date:January 5th, 2010 02:35 am (UTC)
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You are so dear! I'm in a place today that I really needed some ego-stroking. And you've done it! *mwah*
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Date:January 5th, 2010 11:02 pm (UTC)
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Aww, even better -- glad I could make you feel better! :) I'm afraid I'm pretty crap at leaving feedback 95% of the time, but I've enjoyed all of your fics and I couldn't NOT leave feedback for "Home". :)
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Date:April 13th, 2010 06:36 pm (UTC)
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So, I finally finished this, and it was absolutely wonderful. I'm only just now making my way into BDS fanficton and whatnot, and this was a terribly wonderful fic to come across so early on. :D

I loved the way you voiced the twins, and Smecker was just completely hysterical, it was all just absolutely fantastic. -grins-

And now, I'm off to venture through other written works on the community here from you, though after reading Home, I'm sure I won't be disappointed! :DD

Absolute best wishes!
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Date:April 13th, 2010 08:47 pm (UTC)
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Thank you so much - I wrote this quite a few years ago and still get amazing feedback like this. I have a fic group, zebraljb_fic, if you want to join up and then just read all my stuff there, as well. :)

Thanks again!!
Date:July 3rd, 2010 08:43 pm (UTC)
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From start to finish that was a wonderful story!!
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Date:October 26th, 2010 03:27 am (UTC)
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Wow. This was just...I laughed, I cried, and I ADORED this story!! This has now become my favorite BDS fan fic, no matter how AU it is. <3

If I may ask, did you happen to write any more of these two or is this the only one?
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Date:February 23rd, 2012 12:12 am (UTC)
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Why did I never see this feedback? I'm so sorry! I've written a few pieces with the twins - you can find them in my memories section, I believe.
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Date:May 23rd, 2011 03:59 pm (UTC)
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Just finished the story. Very interesting twist on the brothers. I really enjoyed reading it
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Date:October 31st, 2011 11:03 pm (UTC)
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so i only recently watched the movie for the first time and pretty much became instantly obsessed with the twins. i was thrilled when i found this comm (essentially dead though it may be). i was even more thrilled to read this fic :) it was great! thanks for taking the time to write and post it <3
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Date:November 2nd, 2011 02:33 am (UTC)
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It is so fun to get feedback almost six years after writing this! I used to really write a lot in this genre/Flandus, as well as Lord of the Rings, and boyband RPS. Feedback is wonderful no matter when you get it. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
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Date:February 22nd, 2012 06:24 pm (UTC)
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SDJKHFALSKJKLJ!! I am so happy I stumbled across this story. I've been meaning to comment on the other chapters, but I figured that I'd save it until I was finished with the entire story. In all honesty, you're probably one of the best writers I've ever encountered. I've read a ton of Flandus and ConnxMurph stories, but yours takes the cake.
You just made it flow so well! >3< I couldn't help but blush and get all heated everytime I read one of your dirty scenes (which is a lot! But I'm not complainin.) xDD
I started reading this last night, and finished this morning. I fell asleep with a grin on my face. You really did bring the MacManus brothers to life. I sensed the change in their personalities as the story moved along, which I absolutely loved!
My heart ached when they fought, and especially when they found out they were brothers. It really did bring a lot of emotions out of me. Mostly lust. Hahaha! Just kidding xDD
Splendid job! I just wish that my friends were into MacManus twincest as I am, then I would be forcing them to read this story. <3<3
Right, sorry for the very long comment! ^^;
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Date:February 23rd, 2012 12:14 am (UTC)
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SQUEE! I love long comments! I love long feedback years after I wrote something! *hugs you*

So many people have told me they've stayed up for hours to read this. It's the best honor I can get, as I've done that with stories, and know that some are just worth giving up sleep for! LOL

Sometimes I blush writing it, let me tell you...

It's nice to hear from you and meet you! :)